1. Instructions (Nobody Cares).
I have some instructions I will like to share,
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House of Pain is not what you think it means,
The brain is an organ that stores your feelings and emotions,
The Heart only receives what the brain distributes,
When you feel Pain, the brain is the organ that knows the feeling and transmits it to the other organs.
And I think my brain is a house hold of Pain.
A lot of people reading don’t understand what it means,
It’s clear to me you listened to my voice but didn’t hear a thing,
Why these Instructions are in the beginning; if at all you are reading it,
Is that people have demons no matter how Young they are.
But I live in a society where everyone is tagged an attention Seeker,
No matter how feeble the demons are,
Truth be told Nobody wants to listen,
Everyone only listens when he slashes his Wrist,
Then blame him for not speaking out,
He spoke, but nobody Deciphered,
And after 2months they forget him and live life, really?
But there is no guilt felt because nobody cares, let’s be honest.
I live in a society where what I am writing is trash, but thank you,
and “I should grow up”, Well Thank you.
Welcome to House of Pain if at all you are reading,
Someone Comment; what’s the difference between this West African Hell and The one they say I will meet if I intentionally kick my Bucket?
Heavy metal music booming in my ear drums,
I am in this phase where I am reflecting if I am going to heaven or hell,
Trying to recite the names of the enemies I have made.
Cueing my favorite song and having a party with my pained emotions,
My brain keeps telling me to slash my wrist,
I am dancing on a bed; imaging I am a belly dancer,
I want to be on a stage where people are screaming my name in fear.
Closing my eyes and all I can see are dead bodies,
It’s like I might have blood in my hands
And in my Forties, have PTSD or Insomnia.
But by the morning I wake up.
I will realize it is 5:36:66,
But at the end, the phase continues like how the earth goes round.
Maybe the only true rest I might have is when I am 6 feet under.
That’s the greatest joy, this shall go on as
My last note before this expensive Rope ends it,
It all started around 11:36:66.
3. A Story.
A story of me.
A story you need to hear,
After death took me,
My organs were shared,
My house of pain and vessel of suffering were given to two different sapiens,
My house of pain, to a young girl who needs a brain,
And my vessel of suffering to a young man whose heart is stained.
The young girl now feels all the painful emotions I feel every night and day,
But she is confused because her pains are not what she felt.
The young man feels all the sufferings that can’t be translated because my house of pain is not in his Head.
The young girl searches for all the meaning even her Brain can’t translate,
The young man feels he has a message to decipher but doesn’t know what message that is to be.
Fate brings them together on a faithful day.
The House of pain opens up to the vessel of suffering and both can relate,
The two organs are now one but in separate bodies that can’t initiate,
The vessel of suffering now knows the message and what is it he needs to explain?
“What is house of pain?”
All i crave is a love i don’t get,
All i get is the hate i want to nest,
All i want is to be free from all these stress,
All i want is my brain to have eternal rest,
All my heart holds is the vessel of my suffering,
All my brain knows is my house of pain,
This game “Life” is said to be without hurry,
But what’s the use? Because it’s been hacked by the creator, which has made it very boring.
4. In my Dark Room.
In my darkroom, on my chair,
Sipping a cup of tea throwing a spear.
The noisy neighbors have flair,
“Emeka God will punish you” is all I can hear.
I can’t have a bond;
I can’t have an heir.
I am too young to be thinking this; I am too young to share.
I grew up around tough love,
I grew up around my peers,
But now they have smiles, leaving me to my despair.
I am not good enough,
I cannot care.
I work myself double shift, I work myself to shreds.
You cannot understand what goes on you cannot fare.
Someone condemned me for a sin I didn’t even share.
Why would I smile a lot,
When I can’t even spell,
The word “Happy” because
All I feel is despair.
My world is over; it is all in threads.
My life hasn’t begun; yet it’s at his end.
5. Psychologically (House of Pain)
Trust me, only their Social media cares,
But only when they have a cute picture
Of them in your funeral,
Smiling and looking cute,
Hash tags of R.I.P
But the Pictures is of them smiling like it’s some party,
So do you expect me to have Mercy?
You expect me to loose my guard and allow such an insult befall me?
I might be the villain, but I am the hero in my own story.
Trust me, only their Social media cares,
They have the means to help me,
But they prefer to keep it up and wait till I am in a point of no return,
Then they make it look like I a sick individual.
How do you expect me to care for them?
How do you expect me to have Mercy?
I don’t know about you but I choose not to be soft.
That’s how they describe it,
I think I am more sane than all of you,
You want me to give out my broken heart to be shattered into skinny pieces?
You want me to cry over what people around me to call baseless?
You are welcome then
Welcome to my House of Pain.
In the Farm, we are laborers.
Reaping what we sow,
A lot of plans sown waiting for Germination,
But the pests keep piercing and sucking blood from the seedlings.
I see farmers,
With insecticides of second chances,
But these pests keep Biting and chewing Opportunities.
Yet, the farmer Purchases insecticides that cannot kill the pests.
The Farmers and Pests tend to forget, after the fire, comes a new planting season.
This fire destroys both ungerminated seedlings and Pests.
Regardless, the fire is no respecter of farmers or pest.
The Fire consumes Him also.
The pest destroys the crop if a farmer allows it.
It follows it everywhere.
It’s time for the farmers to crush the pests,
And prevent the hunger of everyday Life.
A Farmer needs something,
Something that kills the pest and prevent new pests.
A Farmers can be their own pest and others farmers too.
But whatever pest they are, they have to be eradicated to prevent a failed Farming Season.
Somebody Shed Tears for me, because I have cried all my tears out,
Somebody Die for me, because I Died so much, I need to die some more,
Somebody Smile for me, because my face knows nothing but a frown,
Somebody Teach me happiness, because Sadness is all that i feel,
Somebody tell me the truth, because Lies are the only things they ever told me,
Somebody Help me, because I can’t do this any longer,
Somebody Feel this pain I feel, Then you will understand what pain really feels like,
Somebody give me two chances, because I promise not to fail them both,
Somebody, 12/09, because that was the day it all started.
8. Elisha’s Interlude (Written By Smilez)
Life knows no justice.
She is no fair lady.
She wakes up and plans evil.
She takes her needle of terror;
Without mercy, she pierces my healthy heart.
My inner body blood overflows,
In my pain, she puts on her smile of evil.
As I scream in deafening silence, she rejoices.
She stares into my eyes of innocence,
But she is disappointed for she sees no pain.
For I won’t let her see my pain.
With strength and endurance I will rise again.
I will clean and treat my wounds to heal,
For I see this tyrants weakness,
And as long as she cannot kill my soul,
i shall survive and fight back.
And when the battle is won,
I will stand tall in victory.
Happily ever after winning battles to come.
9. Thanatophobia(Written by Miss Chir)
I dread the day.
The day when I will no longer hear,
Hear your voice,
Voice so clear and strong,
Strong enough to give me strength,
Strength that keeps me going,
Going farther despite all toils,
Toils that are excruciating with the added knowledge,
Knowledge of the fact that the day is near,
Near and close is the awful day,
I dread the day.
The day when you shall answer,
Answer the ultimate call from beyond,
Beyond my teary pleas and loving reach,
Reach out to me even then,
Then, I shall draw courage and peace,
Peace knowing that all shall be well,
Well enough for me to carry on,
On your persistent urge, I know I am brave,
Brave and bold because of your love.
I dread the day.
The day I’ll never see you again,
Again and again, fear’s icy claws,
Claws at my heart and my very inner core,
Core of my being, that is how deep,
Deep is the feeling of terror I know now,
Now, I will cherish every moment,
Moments in your abode may bring relief,
Relief that will be my saving grace on that day,
That day that I have come to dread.
I dread the day.
The day when you will leave and I’ll be alone,
Alone, with my heart bleeding and raw,
Raw pain, I feel, when I think of the cursed day,
Day would become as dark as Midnight’s hour,
Hour after hour will be filled with torture,
Torture knowing that you won’t ever come back,
Back to the bliss-filled times,
Times when I felt happiness was forever,
Forever, without you in it, feels like the end.
The day of dread has arrived.
Arrived with scarcely a warning,
Warning! I fear I shall not survive,
Survive this crushingly, painful ache,
Ache so intense, the darkness is closing in,
In my one moment, life within has ceased,
Ceased from all worries and cares of the world,
World of my world, from my life has come to an end,
End is scary, bleak, desolated,
Desolated is nothing compared to how I feel.
10. Outro (Written By Tife and Ayomide)
If I am permitted once,
Before I catch the last bus.
I’ll take my last shot,
Shoot my last Born.
I made up my mind to invest in you so much,
With a lot of plans, thinking this year was that year.
My joy, unreachable,
Shall then be Joy unspeakable.
For just once in my life,
I will be able to access
And take my last breath;
To intertwine past and privacy
Where is my past?
It is in a state of total concealment.
You did not disappoint me,
You made me believe that no matter what you try to do, you need to always get a backup plan, prepare for the worse and don’t get too disappointed when your expectations flop.
The pain that deprives futures of gaiety;
The pain that hacks jubilations;
The pain that rapes visions and goals of young lads.
The Pain that makes Life is my past.
You made me set my goals before anyone’s desire,
You showed me my time and happiness did not matter.
You brought so much talents and skills in people but they did not realize because, they think you still had nothing to offer.
You introduced pain and discomfort just to make me realize,
I can make it on my own.
The pain is a scare the blessing is my reward.
House Of Pain.
“James, I am very busy… I am sorry but I’m so busy. I read the other pieces, and they were absolutely good; Emotion(s) filled and wisdom oriented. Y(ou) all should keep it up, writing is a talent…” Ayomide. ]